Some frequently asked questions about Funeral / Sympathy Flower Etiquette

Published: Thursday 18 August 2022

Some frequently asked questions about Funeral / Sympathy Flower Etiquette

Some frequently asked questions about Funeral / Sympathy Flower Etiquette

Often people are a bit unsure of what to send and when to send it after they receive news of a death. Here are some answers, but keep in mind these are just suggestions, and your decision to send flowers will not offend or break any rules.

Australians love to show empathy and sympathy by sending flowers, and as a florist, I want you to know that each flower gets received with thanks and appreciation. There may be some exceptional instances where you should not send flowers at all. If in doubt, check with your local florist who will know all the do’s and don’ts of the local community.1. What is the difference between funeral flowers and sympathy flowers?
2. Should I send funeral flowers for the coffin?  
3. When should funeral flowers be delivered?
4 When should sympathy flowers be delivered?
5. Who do you address the flowers to for a funeral? 
6. Which funeral flowers should I send?  
7. Which sympathy flowers should I send?  

1. What is the difference between funeral flowers and sympathy flowers?

Funeral flowers are sent to the actual funeral or cremation and sympathy flowers are addressed to the home or office of the family of the deceased person. Funeral flowers tend to be very formal arrangements such as casket sprays or arrangements on large stands to decorate the church or funeral home. These are often arranged by family members during the planning of the funeral.

Sympathy flowers are personal gestures to loved ones and can be anything from a bunch of flowers to potted plants. These are delivered to residential addresses rather than funerals.


2. Should I send funeral flowers for the coffin?  

Flowers for the coffin are usually chosen by the immediate family of the deceased, so if you are a more distant relative or friend, it may be more appropriate to send a smaller arrangement that will be placed close to the coffin or to be placed - like a wreath, at the graveside. 
Wreaths are not considered sympathy flowers when send to a home and should be avoided if possible. 


3. When should funeral flowers be delivered?

Flowers sent to the church, crematorium or funeral home should be delivered on the day of the funeral and not earlier than three hours before the service. Funeral flowers that arrive after the funeral already took place, unfortunately, will not be dealt with by funeral homes and may go to waste, so be sure to find out the correct time of the funeral/service.


4. When should sympathy flowers be delivered?

It is human nature to react to death notices with the urge to contact family members of the deceased as soon as possible and to send flowers immediately. Although not wrong to do so, it may be a bit helpful to give the family a little time to get over the initial shock of death.

Immediate family members can take or send flowers on the same day, especially when far away from their loved ones grieving. Friends or work colleagues may want to hold back for a day before sending sympathy flowers. 


5. Who do you address the flowers to for a funeral?

Flowers sent to a funeral should be addressed to the funeral home, church or crematorium itself and make sure you include the name of the deceased so that they know for which funeral they have been sent.

You could contact the venue to find out the exact address, although florists will know where all the local places of worship and crematoriums are. 

Cards attached to funeral flowers will be removed from the flowers and given to families.

Be sure to address cards as follow: The Late followed by the deceased full names. The funeral conductors do not know the nicknames of people and use birth names to identify people. 


6. Which funeral flowers should I send?  

Flowers sent to a funeral are meant to pay homage to and honour the life of the deceased. When choosing what to send, ask yourself a few questions like what was his/her favourite flower or colour? Often funeral flowers also reference countries of birth, and personal memories like vegetables for a farmer or poppies for a war veteran.

Speak to your florist to find something special to convey your last goodbye in your own way.


7. Which sympathy flowers should I send? 
 
Sympathy flowers are less formal than funeral flowers and are sent to other members of the deceased family or work environment. These flowers comfort bereaved loved ones and let them know that you are thinking of them.

You can choose any flowers or gifts that you want to send.

The card should be addressed to the person you know or in the case of more formal settings address the card to the family or the colleagues of the deceased.